yada yada yada

Today I had Lucy asking me all afternoon and evening if I had eyes in the back of my head.

"Yep,"  I told her. 

So she proceeded to ask, "Mom can you see me?" as she stood behind me.

"Yep."

"Can you see the curtains?"

"Yep."

"What am I doing now?" as there are sounds of jumping on the bed.

"Jumping on the bed."

She's a believer.

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Leta went to tithing settlement tonight with her tiger mask on - yes, we are that family.  She's only 2, and a small 2 at that.  I'll put my foot down when it isn't cute anymore.

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Annie had to have socks under her footie pajamas.  The thing is, Annie has issues with socks - they have to feel just right on her feet.  There were quite a few adjustments tonight in the feet department.  They stopped after I threatened to take off her socks if she didn't stop complaining.
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The older girls and I entered a recycled wreath making contest.  Elsa wants to win so she can have more money than Lucy.  Elsa asked, "Mom, do you think this is a winning wreath?"  I went with honesty and told her I thought it still needed some work to be a winner.  Hopefully I didn't burst her creativity.  She added some more "snow" and now it looks pretty good.  They did most of the work on their own, but I did have to give them some ideas and handle the hot glue.  Hopefully that is okay.  Wonder what the other wreaths look like.  I told myself it wasn't about winning and I told the girls, "We are still winners if we did our best."  But, it would be nice if my girls won a prize.

I hope my girls learn to be more creative.  I am thankful I have a few creative bones in my body, but I fear there are times that I have tried to force them to be more creative.  I need to train my mind to relax more when it comes to their creativity and not worry if they don't have a winning wreath.

Note to self:  Have more open ended crafts.
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I told Lucy and Elsa tonight that if they keep leaving their clean clothes all over the floor that I'm going to take away their cute clothes and buy them ugly uniforms to wear to school, "Ugly shirts and ugly pants."  Hopefully they keep their clothes picked up because it was totally one of those threats that I don't intend to follow through on.  I know, chalk one up to good parenting techniques.
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4 kids isn't easy.  Back to fighting for patience and kindness and spunk these days.  Trying to smile more and let my girls hear me laugh.  Oh how I love them, and try to be better for them, but this spunky mom thing sounds easier while they sleep.

Then they wake up.  And it's a battle of whose going to win, nice mom versus mean mom.  Nice super mom is trying to workout a little more.  "Gladiators ready..."  (Please tell me you used to watch American Gladiators when you were a kid.)

Part of my frustration is that I feel like a constant nag and it just brings my peppy momness down.  I try not to be, but I think it stems from the fact that they are all still so young, there are 4 of them, there are bound to be constant reminders.  "Don't touch Leta." "It's quiet time now."  "Don't touch Leta."  "Clean up."  "How about you move a little faster while cleaning up."  "Don't touch Leta."  "Don't lay on the cat."  "Eat please."

Leta and Annie didn't nap today.  They climbed out of their cribs and were playing in their closet.  They didn't destroy anything so I left them to their sneakiness.  Leta was actually happier post no nap playtime in room than she was yesterday post nap.  

Elsa has been sassy pants lately and has been more argumentative.  I tell her, "Don't argue with mom."  But, in my mind I'm thinking, "Well, what if I am doing something wrong?  I want her to question if I'm doing it right."  Maybe I should change my phrasing to, "Make sure you are showing respect." 

I keep getting rid of junk but my house keeps getting messy.  I'm ready to do what Ryan wanted to do years ago - get rid of everything but the couches.  (Well, he would keep the T.V.) 

Trying to simplify again.  I think I try every other week.  Stress is for the birds and doesn't get anything done.  And the silly thing is, the things I stress over at times I know they don't matter.  

Though it is quite stressful having 4 cute daughters whine and cry for something all at the same time.  That happens frequently.  I just have to remind myself, there are 4 of them and they are still so young.  Everything is going to seem multiplied.  Not to mention I haven't really built in any mom breaks lately.

Love love love our decision to put Lucy and Elsa in half day kindergarten, but there are those moments that I'm thinking it sure would be easier to have them in full day.        

I'm pretty sure I can't go 2 minutes without someone asking me something, being touched, poked, hair pulled or cried at.  (I only say 2 minutes because most of the time it is 10 seconds, but in the afternoons when Leta and Annie are "napping" I often have Lucy and Elsa read books or have "quiet" time for a bit.  "Quiet" is in quotes to indicate it isn't often quiet.  And then in the evenings I do get my alone time.  So 2 minutes would be the average.)

But that also means I have plenty of opportunities to tackle Leta and give her zerberts on her neck.  Or pinch Annie's little bums that are trying to be potty trained.  Or listen to Lucy and Elsa read books or compliment them on their drawings.  Or lay in my bed as I try to read books to all 4 wiggly little girls nestled around me. 

I wish we could be one of those families that could just all nap together.   

This isn't a "I don't like my life post" as some may interpret it.  Oh, I LOVE my life.  I love my daughters.  I wouldn't change anything (besides my ability to stay calm in the face of chaos.)  But, this is the reality of having 4 kids in 3 years.  Such a huge blessing, but also, the workout of my life.  I love the journey.  Learning and growing is part of the fun, but yes, painful at times.  Don't you remember leg aches during your teenage years?

Being the mom is awesome.  It's fun being the one making the decisions, being in the lead.  But, I must say it also makes me want to curl up in a ball at times.

Speaking of curling up...it's off to bed, cause these 4 eyes of mine need to get some shut eye so my girls can hear me laugh more than the 3 times they heard today.  They should see my smile and hear my laughter quite often, not once in a while.