Today Was a Good Day

My mind has been going through words all day long, trying to figure out how to put these events in type. I've cried so much my head feels like it's falling asleep. My fingers tingle and my cheeks sting.

Today my precious niece Sadie entered the world. A fighter. In her parents' hands she took a few breaths, wiggled, tried to grasp my sister's finger, lived. She lived for about an hour and as quietly as she came, she returned home to a loving Heavenly Father. On earth she is loved by so many. Three older brothers, a father, mother, grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, cousins and countless others. In heaven I know there are plenty to love and hold her and comfort her as she has had to leave her earthly family for a time.

Katie and Renny let some of us come say our goodbyes tonight as well. We held that precious baby in our arms, so small. We took pictures so the family could remember her earthly body. However, when I picture her now, I see a happy, laughing child. Chunky cheeks and all, just like her mom was as a child (minus Katie's berry toes. Sadie has long elegant toes). I see blond hair, bright eyes and a smile to light up a room.

Yesterday, Annie was in her swing just smiling and laughing at the air. I'm pretty convinced that the spirits of those that pass on before us come back to comfort and at times protect. I thought about my grandpa Nichols, how he loved his little girls. He passed before many of his grandchildren were born, including me. We know him through pictures and stories. At the time yesterday, unaware of what the next hours would bring, I pictured Annie smiling and laughing at her great-grandpa Nichols. Last night I got the call that Katie was headed to the hospital with contractions. We have been worried about this pregnancy from the beginning. Katie has been on bed rest this past week, but after her appointment on Tuesday, things seemed to be getting better. Her amniotic fluid levels had risen. We were hopeful. We just needed to make it till Christmas and the new year, when Sadie would have had more of a fighting chance. After getting checked out at the hospital, no contractions and everything looked okay still, Katie was sent home. Once home, her water broke. Katie delivered Sadie at 4:00 this afternoon via C-section. Weighing 1 pound and 11 inches tall. I'm now even more convinced that my grandpa was indeed close at hand these past few days.

Another thing I am convinced about, there is a loving God in Heaven and that roughly 2000 years ago, another baby entered this world to allow families to be together forever. Someday my sister will raise her daughter, see her, hold her, get to know her. I look forward to when I can hold her again as well and I know there are many in line (yes, you other sobbing aunts), that can't wait for another chance.

Elsa has been praying these last few days, "And bless Aunt Katie's baby that it will get better and have enough water to float." Many others have pleaded on bended knee. So does Heavenly Father hear our prayers? Did He hear Elsa's prayer? YES! With all my heart yes! He hears and knows us and answers our prayers, just not always in the way that we would plan. But I know His plan is much grander. He has a plan for each and every one of us and I've come to really know these last few years that no matter the heart ache, I want the plan that He has in store. Long ago I was taught these words by my mother,

"My life is a gift

my life has a plan

my life has a purpose, in Heaven it began.

Our choice was to come to this lovely home on earth

and seek for God's light to direct us from birth.

I will follow God's plan for me."

And you might be wondering about my title. Today as I passed on the news to my dad that Sadie lived, that her heart was still beating, through tears he exclaimed, "Today was a good day." And I have to agree. Our hearts want to burst and tomorrow and the next day and many days after that, there will be much mourning, but today we met another child of God. She lived and we know she will live again. Our forever baby Sadie.

Thanky Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving:

Wednesday - Feast with Melzers. No pictures due to arms full and broken camera.

Thursday - Feast with the my grandma Nichols' descendants. Had extra arms and Ryan brought home his work camera - so not many pictures, but at least some.

Every feast was superb. Plenty of yummy food, plenty of baby holders* and cousins for Lucy and Elsa to play with. Lucy and Elsa probably drank a gallon of pop on Thursday (they were a fan of the open pop bar on grandma Nichols' back porch) and had fun running around with cousins. I enjoyed sitting and relaxing and eating platefuls of food. I ate several of my cousin KaraLyn's yummy pumpkin cookies because I enjoy the grab-and-go type of food. Ryan successfully cooked 2 turkeys - 1 pit and 1 brine and cook in oven. I think next year we'll just stick with the pit. Much more tender and easier to do.

Thanksgiving morning, we woke up to this: (the girls were convinced Ryan killed the turkey in our backyard)

Conner and Elsa

Lucy, Logan and Conner riding the horses. (My parents and grandma had several big cardboard boxes for the kids to play with and in.)

Leta and KaraLyn (I was excited because I knew KaraLyn would be there. Her youngest is 4, so she is a prime baby holder.)

Men and darts. My only brother Thomas handing off darts to my pops. (Yes, I had to try to be trendy and do a sunshine shot)

Look, I do exists (The baby is Annie)

*I hope people don't think that I like to pawn off my babies on other people, but as a mom of twins, it is always exciting when I know that both are being held and loved at the same time, as babies should be.

5 Months

These little sweethearts turned 5 months this week. Oh time, slow down. Just look at where we started (love the hair Leta).

It was a year ago on Thanksgiving that I found out I was pregnant. Still have the positive pregnancy test under my sink. How thankful I am for these last few months. I don't think I've ever been busier, worked harder, or been happier in my life. Sometimes I feel a little guilty because I truly have it so good. I am THANKFUL. My cornucopia runneth over. My only problem is that I can't squeeze them tight enough.

5 months and they still spit up like no other. We go through laundry like Kathryn goes through pecan pie on Thanksgiving. In 5 months we have only had to use bum cream once. Lucy and Elsa required Aquaphor on many many occasions (during their infancy), but I think that mucousy tummy that causes Leta and Annie to spit-up also prevents diaper rash. (There is a little silver lining to the spit-up.) And these little beauties are thumb suckers, much to their daddy's dismay. Happy 5 months.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Timetravelor Lucy

There has been major construction on the path to my parent's house for about the past year. They've finally finished (well, at least the Gilbert Road portion) and now when I drive on that newly paved section of road I feel like Mater after Lightning McQueen finished the road in Radiator Springs.

At my parent's house, Lucy and Elsa were arguing over who had what first. (We get this one everyday, several times a day. Every toy is a lot more interesting when your sister has it.) Lucy's attempt to win the argument produced this comment, "But I had it tomorrow."

Lucy and Elsa made Indian costumes for their preschool Thanksgiving feast today. They even got new Indian names. Lucy's is Wild Rose. Elsa's is Willow. I think the names fit perfectly. Grandma Papa had the honors of taking pictures of two grumpy Indians.

I think my face broke the camera. Literally. This was the last picture I took and now my camera won't turn on. I didn't drop it or anything. I took this picture and then the next time I went to turn it on, no life signs.

Dear Camera,

That wasn't very nice of you to break after I took a picture of myself. I don't have many pictures of me being a mom, so I tried to venture out tonight. I know I'm not all dolled up, but hey, if I waited for that, then I wouldn't have any pictures of myself. I want my kids to look back on their childhood and realize that yes they did indeed have a mom there too.

I've given you a good life. I've carefully carried you far and wide. You've been to mountain tops and lowly valleys. You've been privileged to go places that not many could go. You have shared special family moments with us: potty training, a second twin pregnancy, the NICU, life with 4 cute girls. The list could go on and on. When Lucy broke you last Christmas, we shelled out good money to fix you. Haven't I done enough? Why? Why did you have to break, and especially after I took a picture with me in it? That doesn't make me feel too good. Oh camera you are tick'n me off.

Love,

Kathryn

Perspective

Here is a post I wrote one week ago. I have many posts that still sit in my drafts due to the fact I have just not taken the time to put on the finishing touches:

11-9-09

Ryan just got back from a 3 day, 3 night trip to California with the older girls. He had a wedding to go to, so he made the trip a little longer and went to visit his sister Emily's family. Everyone had such a great time and both the girls and Ryan want to move to California. Thanks Emily for taking care of my family this weekend. Thanks Alexis and Justin for waiting hand and foot on Lucy and Elsa. I hear everyone made it a really easy weekend for Ryan. And if you guys ever need to get rid of Sydney, we'll gladly take her. I have heard many stories of what a great dog she is.

Alexis and Lucy

Alexis' legs are about just as skinny as Lucy and Elsa's

The famous Sydney

It would have been fun to go too, but right now, taking a 6 hour car ride with nursing babies does not sound fun. So once again, I stayed home with babies and Ryan made sure Lucy and Elsa got out to make some memories.

3 years ago, if the same situation came up and Ryan left me at home with our twin babies (Lucy and Elsa at that time) for 3 days and 3 nights, I probably would have played the martyr. "Oh, you're leaving me home to care for OUR kids, all by myself." "Must be nice to be able to go anywhere when you want to." "You owe me." Can you hear the whiny voice now?

Well, 3 years later, it's all about perspective. Having Ryan take Lucy and Elsa and leave me with only the babies was a much needed vacation for me. I didn't have to worry about what to fix for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for 3 days! I didn't have little messes to pick up all day long. If I cleaned the house, it stayed clean. No one to whine at me and I finally had some me time. (Now, even though the last 3 days were easier, I'm glad I have Lucy and Elsa in my life. Who says easier is better?)

So I made a big list of things I should do while Ryan and the olders were gone. I think I crossed off one and a half. But here are some of the things I did do in between feeding Leta and Annie, playing with Leta and Annie, snuggling with Leta and Annie, rocking, burping, and loving Leta and Annie. (Because Ryan has been such a good dad and has taken Lucy and Elsa on several small trips, it has given me plenty of time to just focus on the babies. That time is such a blessing because they are growing so fast*.)

- I watched the Phantom of the Opera on DVD. I've been to the play twice, but I never got it. This whole time I was confused over who was bad, who was good, who felt what, etc. Now I finally understand the play. (It doesn't help that I have the hardest time understanding words to songs.)

-Cleaned my closet and room

-Painted a side table.

-Went to Hobby Lobby and Wally. Hobby Lobby is fantastically overwhelming and I have bruises on my hips from going to Wally. When I go to the stores, I just take my double stroller and pack everything underneath until it is time to check out. On this trip I bought a big tub for all of Lucy and Elsa's old clothes. They packed all of my groceries into the tub, so when I went to my car, I was trying to balance this really heavy tub on my hip while pushing a double stroller. I was a sight to behold, but now my hip is paying for it.

-Had a date with a whole bag of powder sugar donuts. $2 of bliss.

- Went and got a hair-cut. I know there are a few of you that I could have called up to do my hair, but I didn't want to bug anyone. I made a quick appointment and finally paid to get my hair cut and colored so I wouldn't look like a candy corn anymore (my hair had three levels of color due to my at home hair color attempt a few months ago). I didn't like paying to get my hair done. I paid X amount of dollars but didn't feel X amount cuter. Oh well, I didn't mind the head massage.

- I took a nap!!!!!!

- I went to church with my parents. It was fun to go back to the ward I grew up in, but it has changed a lot. For a little while there I thought the world was coming to an end because they released the ward chorister who has been the ward chorister ever since I can remember. I think he was released once, years ago, but about 2 months later he was back at it again. It was also the primary program in my parent's ward and they did really good. Part of the fun for me was watching Adell try to hide between the dividers in the back and signal to the kids to sing louder. (You did very good Adell.) Leta and Annie were gems of babies during church and even ended up falling asleep along with my dad.

The days were nice, but it was good to have my family home. It did take a bit to build back up my child raising endurance though.

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*Annie finally rolled over both ways today (11-16-09). Now she wants to wiggle and move all around. She was even trying to crawl tonight. Eeek. My easy days are numbered.

Eggs for Breakfast

Saturday we went to the Gilbert Days Parade. The girls enjoyed the candy and seeing a huge Dairy Queen ice-cream cone waddle around. We saw my cousin's little girl Emily dance in the parade. We yelled and yelled Emily, trying to get her attention, but in the end we just looked like a few crazies.

After the parade the girls got their first taste of farm life. The Ellsworths in our ward were kind enough to let the girls come and invade their family farm. They got to ride a horse for the first time, which surprisingly, Elsa was happier with. They collected eggs and made Steve catch them the smallest chicken to pet. They played on the toys and had a good time. And today we had eggs for breakfast.

This is Dallen giving Lucy and Elsa a ride. Girls take note - he's 16.

Someday, I'll have a farm. Or I'll atleast own a few chickens and if they create a miniature cow that will fit in my current backyard, one of those too. Thanks Ellsworths.